Naughty Children

Things children have done in my class in the past year they should not have:

Bitten me hard enough to leave a mark,
peed on me,
peed on the floor,
drawn on my cards/the wall,
ripped my props,
laid on top of the cards so I can't get them,
stuck marbles and other small things in their mouths,
hidden things in their clothes,
pulled things off the wall,
leaped off of chairs or tables,
tried to pull things with heavy things on top,
tried to convince me to give them my props,
called me kuso baba,
called me a narcissist,
called me a rabbitpigdragon (aka an aardvark),
played video games in class,
read comics in class,
stood on their chairs,
suggested Hugh Jackman is my lover after sneaking into my bag and pulling out his picture which was on the top of a stack of celebrity photos I was using for another class,
finding some way to make a perverted comment about every card I have,
stood on the tables,
smacked me on the butt (four-five year old girls seem to think this is amusing),
pulled out my hair,
jumped onto my shoulders and not gotten off for the entire lesson,
hidden under the table for the entire lesson,
stole my markers and used them to draw pictures of rabbits instead of doing their lesson,
spit on their fingers and rubbed it into my pants,
picked their nose and rubbed it onto my pants,
licked or bitten my props,
spent the entire class crying,
thrown things at me,
hit me repeatedly with a toy hammer,
made me wipe their butts because "I don't want to because it's stinky."
Thrown my things around the room while yelling "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
Called me a pervert when I followed them to the bathroom to make sure they didn't need help because they forgot to shut the door to the stall,
and many more I'm not thinking of at the moment.

But today was special, my naughtiest five/six year old boy decided to pull down his pants and wave his thing at me and the two little girls in the class.

Don't get me wrong, they do cute things sometimes too.

Going to try to give up chocolate for lent. Tried balsamic vinegar Pringles today. Not bad.